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Opened my dusty Excel sheet (haven’t used it since tax season lol). Made columns for gender combos too because duh – that matters. Started typing in everyone’s answers with one hand while eating cold pizza with the other. Keyboard got greasy but whatever.

When I hit calculate? Nearly choked on my Dr Pepper. Out of those 87 couples:

Only 12 made it to green folder.
39 in yellow.
A whopping 36 in red folder.
Did the percentage math: That’s just 14% long-term success rate. Not even close to 95%!